We Begin Again
Two years ago I walked away from a launch right in the middle of it and flamed out in an episode of complete and total burnout. A year later, presuming I’d healed fully I started back to work. I thought I owed everyone a lengthy, very personal explanation. I wrote draft upon draft of blog posts detailing how I’d found myself in the very unprofessional act of quitting quite radically. It should come as no surprise that these brutally honest writings were not actually helpful and, in fact, were a huge setback. I didn’t publish them. Instead, I took some more time off.
What I have decided is essential to tell everyone is simple. My burnout coincided with perimenopause, the pandemic, discovering late-in-life neurodivergence, and all of the other complex factors that go into surviving late capitalism and the disintegration of Western society. Of course, there’s nothing simple about any of that, but getting bogged down in the details of each one of those facets could be a blog post in and of itself! Perhaps I will delve deeper into some of them as the winter unfolds but for now, I am focused on the transformation that occurred during my time away from public work and sharing how these past few years will inform my offerings from now on.
Back in 2018 when I took my Earth Medicine Practitioner vows at SoulLodge ranch in the July heat of the Oregon desert I promised to “Help whomever I could, whenever I could, so long as I could.” The caveat, of course, was that I must know my limits, both for myself, as well as my clients. At the foundation of this commitment is a guiding principle that I bear a tremendous responsibility to the individuals who come to me for healing work. Understanding my capacity for both the limits of my training and my personal energy stores is crucial for this unique job that I’m privileged to perform. After holding space for groups and individuals through the more uncertain months of the pandemic, the tumultuous election of 2020, the insurrection, and the effects of a fraying society I was buckling under the weight of it all. Finally, I was forced to acknowledge that I was not able to adequately support myself personally, or professionally, nor was I able to support my clients who were overwhelmingly needing a more qualified clinically therapeutic approach for their presenting issues. I needed to step away from my Earth Medicine practice until the balance between myself and my work could be restored.
This has been a challenging time for anyone working in the coaching, therapy, and ethical personal development sphere. So often the presenting issues our clients bring to us cannot be solved on an individual level. These issues also cannot be discussed rationally without crossing the streams of “the spiritual” and “the political,” which have historically been deemed “taboo” to mingle together. And, in this cauldron of online spirituality, there is an ongoing struggle to remain authentic and to come to our practices in a good way. We have all witnessed the minds of our mutuals succumbing to conspiracy theories and supremacist viewpoints. The effect has been rather chilling, to say the least! This is not the internet of the early aughts, or teens any longer, dear friends. I want there to be no confusion about the fact that the space I hold and the values I promote are inclusive of all but wholly intolerant of bigotry or hate. Let there be no mystery to the fact that I’m here for the “Girls, Gays, and They’s.” Them’s the rules in my online space.
It is nearly two years to the day that I had to step away and do the healer’s work of healing myself on a deeper level in the labyrinthian journey of life. I have returned with a fuller awareness of what it means to transform through the profound process of emotional alchemy. As I am sure holds true for so many of you, much has changed and fallen away over the past few years. Stepping into a new reality can be disorienting, but I can attest to the benefits of choosing to step forward. I am filled with enthusiasm to begin the work of spiritual transmutation with my clients and students once again. Now, with so much more in my medicine kit than ever before, including a full spectrum of astrology readings that are designed to complement my Earth Medicine offerings I am eagerly reporting for duty!
I came back to work because I love what I do and the people I help. I came back to work because I took adequate time to heal and make the necessary sacrifices to improve my life. I came back to work because I genuinely believe that spiritual healing is MAJORLY important, now more than ever. I’m back because I vowed “to serve whomever I could, whenever I could” and I’m SO grateful to tell everyone after all this time I am once again able to do so. Over the weeks ahead I’ll be sharing my exciting new offerings with you here on the blog and on my socials. I can’t wait to see you in session soon!